Sex Arrrgh!

[Scouse]

Yes, I've prefixed the thread title [SEX] - because that's exactly what I won't be getting unless I sort out this bijou little problemette.


It's the bird's birthday on Friday. However, we're off camping on Wednesday night. I've no idea what to get her for a present, never mind getting it sorted by Wednesday. No. ideas. at. all.

I'm working away from home (I'm actually back in Scouseland for a couple of months so there's possibility of a quick trip into Liverpool city centre tomorrow lunchtime) so it doesn't make it easy for the quick delivery action - but more than that - I need ideas!

It's bank holiday weekend next weekend so I could do a quick city break or stay in a posh hotel, but it's a bit transparent.

Helpz0rs!!!!!111!11!

 

[dysfunction]

Molton Brown is always a good safety present.

 

[Scouse]

Sounds like something from two birds one cup, but google tells me otherwise.

Ta, but hoping for something more interesting than smellies. Even posh ones

 

[DaGaffer]

Pampering vouchers, send her off to a spa for a day, time to yourself, everyone's a winner.

 

[Chilly]

you could shit in her mouth?

 

[Scouse]

I may take both of us to a spa for a day. There's a distinct lack of possibility of knobbing if I can't actually touch her - and if I'm going to blow a wad on her present I definately want to blow a wad on her...



...and, thanks Chilly, but last time I did that it took her ages to get the sweetcorn out from between her teeth


Any other ideas?

 

[old.user4556]

Any woman withholding sex as punishment is a control freak. Dump her. You don't need to worry about a present AND you get to knob someone new - I'd buy that for a dollar!

But seriously:

Pampering vouchers, send her off to a spa for a day, time to yourself, everyone's a winner.

That was going to be my suggestion. Nothing says thoughtful than spunking cash on a hugely overpriced pamper session. The most important part, more important than her enjoying it, is that she can l0rd to her mates how awesome you are!

 

[Wazzerphuk]

Generally speaking, if you can't think of a present suitable, you either don't know her very well, you're a rubbish human being or the relationship isn't meant to be.

;]

 

[Jupitus]

Whatever happens, you're late, so you just doubled your expenditure to bluff it.

 

[chipper]

Jewellery be careful of rings tho this can send the wrong msg ie the big question! get her a nice pair of earrings or a necklace rarely go wrong with jewellery gives em bragging rights to their mates

 

[TdC]

Rammstein - Liebe Ist Fur Alle Da (Deluxe Box Set) - CDs at Play.com (UK)

 

[Scouse]

Any woman withholding sex as punishment is a control freak

This is true. And if she was really like that she'd have been dumped six years ago. Just after I woke her up by shitting between her tits. Or something


I don't do jewellery, partly because I think it's a total waste of cash and I hate the "ooooh sparkly" shit that women have going on, partly because her parents already handily have that covered and partly because if she had to put earrings in or choose a necklace to go with her clothes it'd be taking up valuable drinking time.

I'm much more of a "get a bloody t-shirt on and lets get down the pub" type of guy. Women in high heels annoy me, with their silly tottering-about, taking ages between pubs, wobbly ankle shenanegans.


I can think of a million suitable presents Wazz. Unfortunately they all cost the same as the number of presents I can think of

As for Rammstein - good call. But I don't think she likes them that much


Long lunch and a sojourn into liverpool village tomorrow methinks...

 

[nath]

Long lunch and a sojourn into liverpool village tomorrow methinks...

Glad that's sorted.

Now, who can think of a way to get Scouse's GF on to this thread?

 

[Scouse]

To be fair, she wouldn't be surprised by anything I posted.

Well, other than the not having sorted anything out for her birthday thang. But everything else she'd think was pretty tame

 

[nath]

Shitting on her chest is tame?


Marry this woman, you won't do any better.

 

[throdgrain]

Buy her a stone leprechaun.

 

[MrHorus]

See, this is where having a gf with similar(ish) interests to myself is a Good Thing.

If I bought her one of those remote control Daleks and took her out for dinner she would be well chuffed

 

[cHodAX]

Never seen a woman not delighted with Molton Brown tbh, top class smellies.

 

[MYstIC G]

You want suggestions, we want pictures.

Anyone answering before that line has been posted should be ashamed

 

[throdgrain]

Or a stone badger!!!

 

[Wazzerphuk]

See, this is where having a gf with similar(ish) interests to myself is a Good Thing.

If I bought her one of those remote control Daleks and took her out for dinner she would be well chuffed

Is her name Maisy Palm? ;]

 

[MrHorus]

Is her name Maisy Palm? ;]

Naw Jennifer

 

[Huntingtons]

I may take both of us to a spa for a day. There's a distinct lack of possibility of knobbing if I can't actually touch her - and if I'm going to blow a wad on her present I definately want to blow a wad on her...



...and, thanks Chilly, but last time I did that it took her ages to get the sweetcorn out from between her teeth


Any other ideas?

dont eat sweetcorn?

 

[R2D3]

I'm much more of a "get a bloody t-shirt on and lets get down the pub" type of guy.

Buy her a pint

 

[Scouse]

Variety of presents bought and delivered, but the winner was a spa day thang with massages and other shite. Bonus being that I'm going along and will be extra relaxed when she decides to "thank" me

Cheers for suggestions peeps

 

[cHodAX]

Surely 'thank' is a spelling mistake.