O
old.MeanMrMustard
Guest
Look at this that i got... a few years ago but i found it again today and it made me laugh again 
Enjoy
> >Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar. I am
> >suffering from rare and deadly
> >diseases, poor scores on final exams, extreme
> >virginity, fear of being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution,
> >and guilt for not forwarding out 50 billion fucking chain
> >letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send
> >them on, then that poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas with a breast on
> >her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed
> >before her redneck parents sell her off to the travelling freak show.>
> >Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and
> >everyone you send -his- email to $1000? How stupid are you?
> >Ooooh,lookyhere! If I scroll down this page and
> >make a wish, I'll get laid by every Playboy model in the magazine!
> >What a bunch of bullshit. So basically, this message is a big FUCK
> >YOU to all the people out there who have nothing better to do than to
> >send me stupid chain mail forwards. Maybe the evil chain letter
> >leprechauns will come into my apartment and sodomize me in my sleep
> >for not continuing the chain which was started by Jesus in 5A.D. and
> >was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower and
> >if it makes it to the year 2000, it'll be in the Guinness Book of
> >World Records for longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity.
> >Fuck them.
> >If you're going to forward something, at
> >least send me something
> >mildly
> >amusing. I've seen all the -send this to 50
> >of your closest friends,
> >and
> >this poor, wretched excuse for a human being
> >will somehow receive a
> >nickel from some omniscient being- forwards
> >about 90 times. I don't
> >fucking care.
> >Show a little intelligence and think about
> >what you're actually
> >contributing to by sending out forwards.
> >Chances are it's your own
> >unpopularity.
> >THE FOUR BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:
> >Chain Letter Type 1:
> >scroll down)
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > > > > > Make a wish!!!
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > > > > > No, really, go on and make one!!!
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > > > > > Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!!
> > > Wish something else!!!
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > > > > > Not that, you pervert!!
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > > > > > Is your finger getting tired yet?
> >
> >
> > > > > > STOP!!!!
> > > > > > Wasn't that fun?
> > > > > > Hope you made a great wish
> > > > > > Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what
> > > I'll do. First of all, if
> > > you
> > > > > > don't send this to 5096 people in the next 5
> > > seconds, you will be
> > > raped
> > > > > > by
> > > > > > a mad goat and thrown off a high building
> > > into a pile of manure. It's
> > > > > > true! Because, THIS letter isn't like all of
> > > those fake ones, THIS
> >
> > > one
> > > > > > is TRUE!!
> > > > > > Really!!! Here's how it goes:
> > > > > > *Send this to 1 person: One person will be
> > > pissed off at you for
> > > sending
> > > > > > them a stupid chain letter.
> > > > > > *Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be
> > > pissed off at you for
> > > > > > sending them a stupid chain letter.
> > > > > > *Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will
> > > be pissed off at you for
> > > > > > sending them a stupid chain letter, and may
> > > form a plot on your life.
> > > > > > *Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will
> > > be pissed off at you
> > > for
> > > > > > sending them a stupid chain letter and will
> > > firebomb your house.
> > > > > > Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > > CHAIN LETTER - Type 2
> > > > > > Hello, and thank you for reading this letter.
> > > You see, there is a
> > > > > > Starving little boy in
> > > Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no
> > > legs,
> > > > > > no parents, and no goats.
> > > > > > This little boy's life could be saved,
> > > because for every time you
> > > pass
> > > > > > this on, a dollar will be donated to the
> > > Little Starving Legless
> > > Armless
> > > > > > Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen
> > > Fund.
> > > > > > Oh, and remember, we have absolutley no way
> > > of counting the emails
> > > sent
> > > > > > and this is all a complete load of bullshit.
> > > So go on, reach out.
> > > Send
> > > > > > this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds.
> > > > > > Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send
> > > this to 4 or 6 people,
> > > you
> > > > > > will die instantly. Thanks again!!
> > > > > >
> > > > > > CHAIN LETTER - Type 3
> > > > > > Hi there!! This chain letter has been in
> > > existence since 1897. This
> > > is
> > > > > > absolutely incredible because there was no
> > > email then and probably
> > > not
> > > > > > as many sad pricks with nothing better to do.
> > > So this is how it
> > > works:
> > > > > > Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7
> > > minutes or something
> > > > > > horrible will happen to you like:
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Bizarre Horror Story #1
> > > > > > Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school
> > > on Saturday. She had
> > > > > > recently recieved this letter and ignored it.
> > > She then tripped in a
> > > > > > crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer,
> > > was gushed down a
> > > drainpipe
> > > > > > in a flood of poopie, and went flying out
> > > over a waterfall. Not only
> > > did
> > > > > > she smell nasty, she died. This Could Happen
> > > To You!!!
> > > > > > Bizarre Horror Story #2
> > > > > > Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain
> > > letter in his mail and
> > > > > > ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a
> > > car and so was his
> > > boyfriend
> > > > > > (hey,somepeople swing that way). They both
> > > died and went to hell and
> > > > > > were cursed to eat adorable kittens every day
> > > for eternity. This
> > > Could
> > > > > > Happen To You Too!!!
> > > > > > Remember, you could end up just like Pinsley
> > > and Bip.Just send this
> > > > > > letter to all of your loser friends, and
> > > everything will be okay.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > CHAIN LETTER - Type 4
> > > > > > As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote.
> > > Send it to every one of
> > > > > > Your friends.
> > > > > > Friends,
> > > > > >
> > > > > > A friend is someone who is always at your
> > > side.
> > > > > > A friend is someone who likes you even though
> > > you stink of shit, and
> > > > > > Your breath smells like you've been eating
> > > catfood A friend is
> > > someone
> > > > > > who likes you even though you're as ugly as a
> > > hat full of assholes A
> > > > > > friend is someone who cleans up for you after
> > > you've soiled yourself
> > > A
> > > > > > friend is someone who stays with you all
> > > night while you cry about
> > > your
> > > > > > sad, sad life A friend is someone who
> > > pretends they like you when
> > > they
> > > > > > really think you should be raped by mad
> > > chimpanzees, then thrown to
> > > > > > vicious dogs A friend is someone who scrubs
> > > your toilet, vacuums and
> > > > > > then gets the check and leaves and doesn't
> > > speak much English...* no,
> > > > > > sorry that's the cleaning lady, A friend is
> > > not someone who sends you
> > > > > > chain letters because he wants his wish of
> > > being rich to come true.
> > > > > > Now pass this on! If you don't, you'll never
> > > have sex ever again.
> > > > > > The point being?
> > > > > > If you get some chain letter that's
> > > threatening to leave you shagless
> > > or
> > > > > > luckless for the rest of your life, delete
> > > it. If it's funny, send it
> > > > > > on.
> > > > > > Don't piss people off by making them feel
> > > guilty about a leper in
> > > > > > Botswana with no teeth, who's been tied to a
> > > dead elephant for 27
> > > years,
> > > > > > whose only saviour is the 5 cents per letter
> > > he'll receive if you
> > > > > > forward this mail, otherwise you'll end up
> > > like Miranda. Right?
> > > > > > Now forward this to everyone you know
> > > otherwise you'll have to look
> > > at
> > > > > > me naked!
Enjoy
> >Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar. I am
> >suffering from rare and deadly
> >diseases, poor scores on final exams, extreme
> >virginity, fear of being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution,
> >and guilt for not forwarding out 50 billion fucking chain
> >letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send
> >them on, then that poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas with a breast on
> >her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed
> >before her redneck parents sell her off to the travelling freak show.>
> >Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and
> >everyone you send -his- email to $1000? How stupid are you?
> >Ooooh,lookyhere! If I scroll down this page and
> >make a wish, I'll get laid by every Playboy model in the magazine!
> >What a bunch of bullshit. So basically, this message is a big FUCK
> >YOU to all the people out there who have nothing better to do than to
> >send me stupid chain mail forwards. Maybe the evil chain letter
> >leprechauns will come into my apartment and sodomize me in my sleep
> >for not continuing the chain which was started by Jesus in 5A.D. and
> >was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower and
> >if it makes it to the year 2000, it'll be in the Guinness Book of
> >World Records for longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity.
> >Fuck them.
> >If you're going to forward something, at
> >least send me something
> >mildly
> >amusing. I've seen all the -send this to 50
> >of your closest friends,
> >and
> >this poor, wretched excuse for a human being
> >will somehow receive a
> >nickel from some omniscient being- forwards
> >about 90 times. I don't
> >fucking care.
> >Show a little intelligence and think about
> >what you're actually
> >contributing to by sending out forwards.
> >Chances are it's your own
> >unpopularity.
> >THE FOUR BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:
> >Chain Letter Type 1:
> >scroll down)
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > > > > > Make a wish!!!
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > > > > > No, really, go on and make one!!!
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > > > > > Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!!
> > > Wish something else!!!
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > > > > > Not that, you pervert!!
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > > > > > Is your finger getting tired yet?
> >
> >
> > > > > > STOP!!!!
> > > > > > Wasn't that fun?
> > > > > > Hope you made a great wish
> > > > > > Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what
> > > I'll do. First of all, if
> > > you
> > > > > > don't send this to 5096 people in the next 5
> > > seconds, you will be
> > > raped
> > > > > > by
> > > > > > a mad goat and thrown off a high building
> > > into a pile of manure. It's
> > > > > > true! Because, THIS letter isn't like all of
> > > those fake ones, THIS
> >
> > > one
> > > > > > is TRUE!!
> > > > > > Really!!! Here's how it goes:
> > > > > > *Send this to 1 person: One person will be
> > > pissed off at you for
> > > sending
> > > > > > them a stupid chain letter.
> > > > > > *Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be
> > > pissed off at you for
> > > > > > sending them a stupid chain letter.
> > > > > > *Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will
> > > be pissed off at you for
> > > > > > sending them a stupid chain letter, and may
> > > form a plot on your life.
> > > > > > *Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will
> > > be pissed off at you
> > > for
> > > > > > sending them a stupid chain letter and will
> > > firebomb your house.
> > > > > > Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > > CHAIN LETTER - Type 2
> > > > > > Hello, and thank you for reading this letter.
> > > You see, there is a
> > > > > > Starving little boy in
> > > Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no
> > > legs,
> > > > > > no parents, and no goats.
> > > > > > This little boy's life could be saved,
> > > because for every time you
> > > pass
> > > > > > this on, a dollar will be donated to the
> > > Little Starving Legless
> > > Armless
> > > > > > Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen
> > > Fund.
> > > > > > Oh, and remember, we have absolutley no way
> > > of counting the emails
> > > sent
> > > > > > and this is all a complete load of bullshit.
> > > So go on, reach out.
> > > Send
> > > > > > this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds.
> > > > > > Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send
> > > this to 4 or 6 people,
> > > you
> > > > > > will die instantly. Thanks again!!
> > > > > >
> > > > > > CHAIN LETTER - Type 3
> > > > > > Hi there!! This chain letter has been in
> > > existence since 1897. This
> > > is
> > > > > > absolutely incredible because there was no
> > > email then and probably
> > > not
> > > > > > as many sad pricks with nothing better to do.
> > > So this is how it
> > > works:
> > > > > > Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7
> > > minutes or something
> > > > > > horrible will happen to you like:
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Bizarre Horror Story #1
> > > > > > Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school
> > > on Saturday. She had
> > > > > > recently recieved this letter and ignored it.
> > > She then tripped in a
> > > > > > crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer,
> > > was gushed down a
> > > drainpipe
> > > > > > in a flood of poopie, and went flying out
> > > over a waterfall. Not only
> > > did
> > > > > > she smell nasty, she died. This Could Happen
> > > To You!!!
> > > > > > Bizarre Horror Story #2
> > > > > > Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain
> > > letter in his mail and
> > > > > > ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a
> > > car and so was his
> > > boyfriend
> > > > > > (hey,somepeople swing that way). They both
> > > died and went to hell and
> > > > > > were cursed to eat adorable kittens every day
> > > for eternity. This
> > > Could
> > > > > > Happen To You Too!!!
> > > > > > Remember, you could end up just like Pinsley
> > > and Bip.Just send this
> > > > > > letter to all of your loser friends, and
> > > everything will be okay.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > CHAIN LETTER - Type 4
> > > > > > As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote.
> > > Send it to every one of
> > > > > > Your friends.
> > > > > > Friends,
> > > > > >
> > > > > > A friend is someone who is always at your
> > > side.
> > > > > > A friend is someone who likes you even though
> > > you stink of shit, and
> > > > > > Your breath smells like you've been eating
> > > catfood A friend is
> > > someone
> > > > > > who likes you even though you're as ugly as a
> > > hat full of assholes A
> > > > > > friend is someone who cleans up for you after
> > > you've soiled yourself
> > > A
> > > > > > friend is someone who stays with you all
> > > night while you cry about
> > > your
> > > > > > sad, sad life A friend is someone who
> > > pretends they like you when
> > > they
> > > > > > really think you should be raped by mad
> > > chimpanzees, then thrown to
> > > > > > vicious dogs A friend is someone who scrubs
> > > your toilet, vacuums and
> > > > > > then gets the check and leaves and doesn't
> > > speak much English...* no,
> > > > > > sorry that's the cleaning lady, A friend is
> > > not someone who sends you
> > > > > > chain letters because he wants his wish of
> > > being rich to come true.
> > > > > > Now pass this on! If you don't, you'll never
> > > have sex ever again.
> > > > > > The point being?
> > > > > > If you get some chain letter that's
> > > threatening to leave you shagless
> > > or
> > > > > > luckless for the rest of your life, delete
> > > it. If it's funny, send it
> > > > > > on.
> > > > > > Don't piss people off by making them feel
> > > guilty about a leper in
> > > > > > Botswana with no teeth, who's been tied to a
> > > dead elephant for 27
> > > years,
> > > > > > whose only saviour is the 5 cents per letter
> > > he'll receive if you
> > > > > > forward this mail, otherwise you'll end up
> > > like Miranda. Right?
> > > > > > Now forward this to everyone you know
> > > otherwise you'll have to look
> > > at
> > > > > > me naked!