Annoying things?

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Gef

Guest
People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....I know where my watch is pal, where the f**k is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Too F**king right I do! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?

When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the f**k would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No tosser, I paid £12 to come to the cinema and stare at the f**king floor.

People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"...... Didn't really give me a choice there, did you sunshine?

When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.

When people say "life is short". What the f**k?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever f**king does!! What can you do that's longer?

When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?".If the bus came would I be standing here, Kn*bhead?

People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'. So what did they used to be? Ears?, Wellington boots?

When your eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No it's really revolting, I always eat stuff I hate!

People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks! that's an image I really didn't need.

McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you unless you insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering.....It's has to be a 'Mcchicken Burger', just a 'Chicken Burger' gets a blanklook...........Well I'll have a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you Mcf*ckin McTos*er!
 
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SilverHood

Guest
some good ones... some are pretty old though

Like the McDonalds one :D
 
B

Belsameth

Guest
Originally posted by Gef
When people say "life is short". What the f**k?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever f**king does!! What can you do that's longer?

being dead....
 
S

slapmesilly..

Guest
Re: Re: Annoying things?

Originally posted by Gef

People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"...... Didn't really give me a choice there, did you sunshine?


People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'. So what did they used to be? Ears?, Wellington boots?


hehe, true gems :D
especially the 1st one, I always answer those morons with their "could I ask you a question?" people with their rotten surveys with "you already did, didn't you?"

Originally posted by Soulcatcher


being dead....

he beat me to it :)
 
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Sarum TheBlack

Guest

When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Too F**king right I do! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?

Some cakes look pretty too....


When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.

I like it when you see things like "Traditional" Dishwasher soap... like what your grandmothers grandmother used in her dishwasher right?.. or "New, Original flavour SupaDrink" is another good contradictory name


When people say "life is short". What the f**k?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever f**king does!! What can you do that's longer?

I was going to say being dead too... Although I think I play more DAoC than is mathematically feasible given the length of a day and the amount of time I spend asleep.. so perhaps by the time I'm dead I'll have played more DAoC than been alive..


People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks! that's an image I really didn't need.

There are worse images people can give you.. like when your parents tell you their off to bed early tonight... :puke:
 
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old.job

Guest
They are George Carlin quotes, my favourite comedian.

Search for his stuff, you'll love it, especially the airplane speak sketch.


Stewardess: 'The captain says'

George: 'Captain, who made him a captain? Did I miss a military swearing in ceremony, he's a fucking pilot and should be happy with that.
The way he's flying he should think himself lucky he's working at all.
Tell the CAPTAIN? Air Force Marshall Carlin says, GO FUCK YOURSELF!!!'
 
G

Gef

Guest
It says Peter Kay on the email they came in .. but hey you know best.
 
W

Wolvon Is back

Guest
Peter Kay's a legend,

And they were very funny :D
 
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Teh Fonz!!1

Guest
Peter Kay is without a doubt, the funniest man ever...
 
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old.Tohtori

Guest
I hope Peters middle name ain't mortimer or sumthing like that. You know, Peter M Kay. ...get it? HAr..yeah i know..not funny...well it is to some people! :p
 
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old.job

Guest
Peter Kay eh?
We''ll those quotes are on my George Carlin tapes, maybe he pinched them or vica versa.
 
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old.Tohtori

Guest
Nooo...could it be that some comedian stole another ones jigs and juggles? Never has happened. Oh no, neverever. :p

Try to come up with a new joke and there's always someone who did it like, ah, 15 years ago you see :D
 
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Gef

Guest
Originally posted by old.Tohtori
Ok, for the first time in ages i have to say...what?

You know .. like bread with garlic and butter on it
 
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old.Tohtori

Guest
Yeh i know what Garlic bread is but was wondering how that had to do with anything...

should know better though, this is the off-topic but...neh.
 
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old.Tohtori

Guest
Originally posted by Teh Fonz!!1
Bread......and garlic??? Garlic bread???

Ooooh! Like...no, still don't get it. Must be blond or something today.
 
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Teh Fonz!!1

Guest
It's a silly Peter Kay routine, that's all.
 
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old.Tohtori

Guest
Gotcha. Well that explains my dumb moment, never heard of the guy :p
 
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Teh Fonz!!1

Guest
peter_k_small.jpg


Phone call for ya.

What?

...Phone.
 
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old.Tohtori

Guest
Ok, first i didn't know, now i don't know if i want to know. You know.
 
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Teh Fonz!!1

Guest
Booked it, packed it and fucked off.

That's teletext for ya. :D
 
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old.Tohtori

Guest
More telly text...totally off-topic..well..a bit



teletext.GIF
 
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SFXman

Guest
lol, most are just plain hilarious. Except this one:
Originally posted by Gef
When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?".If the bus came would I be standing here, Kn*bhead?
Hmm, at least in Finland one bus stop has 5-10 buses leaving from it at different times so sometimes you actually do not know if it has gone yet :p
 
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old.tRoG

Guest
I don't normally find hings with the word fuck in them funny.

It's not a funny word.

Just take a good look at yourself, and think.

Do I NEED to say fuck every two seconds?

For the love of clarity, could you please, just stop.

Upon saying the word fuck all respect for you just dissapears. You sound like another fucking fuckaholic, for fucks sake!

I find that 'that word' is just habit for most people. Don't let it be.

For others, it is merely the 'coolio' 'bling bling' factor of - I can say filthy words. Yo yo yo! Fuck is da bomb!

Go wash your mouthes out with soap, the lot of you.
 
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SFXman

Guest
Ooo, big man tRoG. Actually when you think about people actually swear a damn lot. At least us finns do, not sure of you others :p
 
F

Fafnir

Guest
Satane Perkele, or how ever you spell it, jup fins swear alot.
 

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