Annoying office "colleague" driving me potty...

[old.freebieking]

Have a lady that sits in my office. There are three of us. Me, another lady who is about 53 and this other lady who is 31. This younger one is becoming damned annoying!

Why?

Because she keeps making stupid noises and singing stupid songs. Songs like "The sun has got his hat on", "Three ladies locked in the lavotry", and "Lola" amougst many, many others.

As for stupid noises, she will sit this, and then let out a high pitched whining noise. Or keep making farting noises.

All this was slightly amusing to start with. But now it is starting to get on my wick!! I have said to her about it. She said she knows and that she will stop. 20 mins later she starts up again...

And then says that she can't help herself. Arrggg ok, maybe so. But it is soooo annoying.

Now I am not saying I don't have a mess around, or go loopy. I do these daft things all the time, (and much worse). But constantly doing it in the office with other people that have no choice other than to listen is just....just....taking the piss.

OH GOD SHE IS STARTING AGAIN!!!!!!!!!! Damn her!!!!!!!11

 

[Munkey-]

buy some tape......handcuffs and an SnM suit.


kidnap her



then force her to listen to Egbert Humphisdink for 3 weeks being fed only raw haddock

 

[old.D0LLySh33p]

Throw her off a cliff.

 

[mr.Blacky]

go sing with her

 

[Nibbler]

Poke her. And keep doing it until she stops. And if she starts again, poke her some more.

 

[mr.Blacky]

if she looks good just poke her for ever

 

[Summo]

Originally posted by Lead Nibbler
Poke her. And keep doing it until she stops. And if she starts again, poke her some more.

That's a good idea. Find a long poking-stick (one of those things used to open high windows would be ideal) and make a big thing of using it when she sings. Everyone will find it funny (including the singer), you'll be worshipped as a office wag BUT you keep doing it and eventually she'll be pissed off then she'll learn to fear the poke.

Aversion Therapy, innit? She'll either stop or become a foetal ball of dribble and tears. Either way... you win.

 

[.cage]

Tell her to stop, politely. If she doesn't, tell her to fuck off. Simple.

 

[Embattle]

Get a cup and piss in it and leave it near her desk.

 

[Summo]

But first add a tea bag and milk.

 

[Mellow-]

Lock her in a cupboard and feed her pins! The lacerations should stop the vocal chords being used

 

[Summo]

Good idea.

 

[mr.Blacky]

Originally posted by Mellow
Lock her in a cupboard and feed her pins! The lacerations should stop the vocal chords being used

well drinking piss would do the same thing uke:

 

[Mellow-]

I was rather impressed at the practicality of it all to be quite honest.

 

[old.D0LLySh33p]

Teeheehee.

 

[Mellow-]

Originally posted by Mr.Blackshirt
well drinking piss would do the same thing uke:

Only until purfuse vomiting natch, where as lacerations would mean surgury, and we all know how slow the NHS is these days.

 

[mr.Blacky]

dunno aint in the UK

 

[Sar]

Whap your todger out, get a stiffy and tell her to use it as a microphone.

You'll either get lucky or she'll stop for good.

Either way?

 

[old.cheaten]

Sue her for harrasment

 

[suicide121]

Originally posted by Lead Nibbler
Poke her. And keep doing it until she stops. And if she starts again, poke her some more.

:touch: Pokeage

 

[old.cheaten]

1) Buy a pie and some eggs
2) go to work
3) hit him/her in the face with the pie after you've done their car with the eggs

 

[Testin da Cable]

just ask her to stop heh. works wonders.
failing that you kill them, kill them all could get someone else to ask her to stop.

 

[Mellow-]

...like her boss for example.

 

[Sawtooth]

Duct tape, a large polythene sheet, some safety goggles and industrial strength acid, oh and a pump..gets messy later on.

Think I saw this done in a film with Woody Harrelson...

Might be a bit over the top though..try moving office?

saw

 

[WPKenny]

Buy her some really chewy toffee. She might hum a little but at least she won't be all-out singing.

 

[S-Gray]

Or somethin like a Lemon drink... somethin to really dry her throat ou t

 

[Mellow-]

All these comments and suggestions are actually far too complicated, simply:

Tell her to shut up.

 

[mr.Blacky]

he did that already............read it

 

[Moving Target]

Just unzip your trousers....she'll be so terrified she won't be able to make a noise. Problem solved.

 

[mr.Blacky]

said already