O
old.Tohtori
Guest
Ok, i've been adventuring these lands for quite some time and i have to say, in all their wisdom and old bearded age the gods of these worlds either have one heckuva sense of humor or their just plain silly. I'll make these in no particular order so you can just read through them as they come or you can start from the bottom, it doesn't chance the point of the thread. Honest.
Ready? Good. Here we go again:
(((And today it shall be...sunny..again.)))
For a world of such diversity, the lands still hold one thing common. The weather. It's either a pitch black night where your torch miracilously shines only about 3 feet from you or it's a bright sunny day. Rain is random and with rain comes a fog. Repeat. Now either there was a big fight about who will get to be God of Weather supreme and noone won or the Local God of Weather is quite bored of his job. A lightning storm? Rain on a sunny day? Try the weather channel of Lord Supreme Of Sun and Moon. Trust me. Worth it. Really.
(((I shalt give you the brain of a humming bird.)))
It's rather simple. Creatures are dumb! First off, who's grand idea was to put animals (except a few strange cats or Lords of Destruction) on the world and then make them stay where they are? If you're really lucky you might see one move for..gosh!...5 feet and then stare at the nearby tree for a good 15 seconds again. I can only imagine what the God of Fluffy and Cute things did back in the days:
GFC: "And a cat there! And a doggie there! A few silly looking fishers there! Lalla-laaaa! Now...sit! Stay! Good boy!"
(((And i shalt give the people even smaller ones!)))
And if i thought that the animals seemed a bit silly, how about those "people" around? We have races that live in camps, maybe three of them(max) leave the camp for a hunt and return with...nothing! Change your hunters for gods sake...They have fish drying in the sun but it's the same fishy that's been rotting there for the past year. What do these people eat? Evidently they only need the silver they have and strangely enough..a bof of clams, seaweed basket or the occasional..silver coin.(that sells for one silver coin by the way..exiting!) And these are still quite intelligent, hive like beings. When you kill a Morbenson in an island far away, the Murbelsun in the cavern on the other side of the world knows you're his friend now. I mean...the word spreads fast! I only wish they had this kind of messanger service nowadays.
And some people just can't be pleased. No sirree. You could kill every Sibberman around and still their lifelong enemies, The Ussermubens would hate your guts because you killed a rabbit on their lands 15 years ago. They really know how to hold a grudge! Then again, for a race of people who have eaten the same dried fish for two hundred years, had the same crappy hunting party for gods know how long and every day some happy camper with a purple cloak comes to kill a whole generation with his friends...they might have a reason for having some trusting problem.
(((The people shalt have not one..but four fighting areas!)))
And they all are made from the same mold. This is the greatest part of the gods and their superior wisdom. We have four areas where people can fight out their life long grudges against eachother. Let's analyze these areas. First off copy/paste is truly the greatest weapon gods have. The battlegrounds where people fight are identical, to extreme. Every tree, river, bush and Jabrylla are in exactly the same place as they are around the corner. And the point of this area? To get that castle in the middle. There must be a huge pile of gold in that castle, some naked women who are willing and able or just a chest with untold power because everyone wants this particular pile of stones located in the exact middle of the three realms....nope. There's just guards who make keeping the castle yours more easy.
Whupdidoo.
I've seen guards around my realm and let me tell you, they ain't that much to look at. Ok so Norse women have a good build, in some places more then others, but it's not worth getting killed for 50 times to get through those miracle doors. And the doors? If we have 60 people bashing the doro with axes, swords, hammers, spells and their grandmother, it won't budge. But bring in a small sized tree and bash it a couple of times and it opens...outside! I don't know much about kicking IN doors but i have a good guess that they do open IN.
There you have it, a few things Teh Seel amazes about with the Box of Many Voices and Colors. One day there will be more and you'll eb the first to hear about them.
Good day and have fun out there.
Ready? Good. Here we go again:
(((And today it shall be...sunny..again.)))
For a world of such diversity, the lands still hold one thing common. The weather. It's either a pitch black night where your torch miracilously shines only about 3 feet from you or it's a bright sunny day. Rain is random and with rain comes a fog. Repeat. Now either there was a big fight about who will get to be God of Weather supreme and noone won or the Local God of Weather is quite bored of his job. A lightning storm? Rain on a sunny day? Try the weather channel of Lord Supreme Of Sun and Moon. Trust me. Worth it. Really.
(((I shalt give you the brain of a humming bird.)))
It's rather simple. Creatures are dumb! First off, who's grand idea was to put animals (except a few strange cats or Lords of Destruction) on the world and then make them stay where they are? If you're really lucky you might see one move for..gosh!...5 feet and then stare at the nearby tree for a good 15 seconds again. I can only imagine what the God of Fluffy and Cute things did back in the days:
GFC: "And a cat there! And a doggie there! A few silly looking fishers there! Lalla-laaaa! Now...sit! Stay! Good boy!"
(((And i shalt give the people even smaller ones!)))
And if i thought that the animals seemed a bit silly, how about those "people" around? We have races that live in camps, maybe three of them(max) leave the camp for a hunt and return with...nothing! Change your hunters for gods sake...They have fish drying in the sun but it's the same fishy that's been rotting there for the past year. What do these people eat? Evidently they only need the silver they have and strangely enough..a bof of clams, seaweed basket or the occasional..silver coin.(that sells for one silver coin by the way..exiting!) And these are still quite intelligent, hive like beings. When you kill a Morbenson in an island far away, the Murbelsun in the cavern on the other side of the world knows you're his friend now. I mean...the word spreads fast! I only wish they had this kind of messanger service nowadays.
And some people just can't be pleased. No sirree. You could kill every Sibberman around and still their lifelong enemies, The Ussermubens would hate your guts because you killed a rabbit on their lands 15 years ago. They really know how to hold a grudge! Then again, for a race of people who have eaten the same dried fish for two hundred years, had the same crappy hunting party for gods know how long and every day some happy camper with a purple cloak comes to kill a whole generation with his friends...they might have a reason for having some trusting problem.
(((The people shalt have not one..but four fighting areas!)))
And they all are made from the same mold. This is the greatest part of the gods and their superior wisdom. We have four areas where people can fight out their life long grudges against eachother. Let's analyze these areas. First off copy/paste is truly the greatest weapon gods have. The battlegrounds where people fight are identical, to extreme. Every tree, river, bush and Jabrylla are in exactly the same place as they are around the corner. And the point of this area? To get that castle in the middle. There must be a huge pile of gold in that castle, some naked women who are willing and able or just a chest with untold power because everyone wants this particular pile of stones located in the exact middle of the three realms....nope. There's just guards who make keeping the castle yours more easy.
Whupdidoo.
I've seen guards around my realm and let me tell you, they ain't that much to look at. Ok so Norse women have a good build, in some places more then others, but it's not worth getting killed for 50 times to get through those miracle doors. And the doors? If we have 60 people bashing the doro with axes, swords, hammers, spells and their grandmother, it won't budge. But bring in a small sized tree and bash it a couple of times and it opens...outside! I don't know much about kicking IN doors but i have a good guess that they do open IN.
There you have it, a few things Teh Seel amazes about with the Box of Many Voices and Colors. One day there will be more and you'll eb the first to hear about them.
Good day and have fun out there.
