A Story

[old.tRoG]

We had one of these threads on the MNL forums on battlemail. Basicly you tell a story, eg. one person starts off Once upon a time..next person says 'there was a person who liked sheep...' next person says 'his name was george...'

and so on and so forth.

just try and make it non-linear and crazy. and funny. i think the last one i remember doing someones hair caught foot & mouth and he got killed by paratrooper cows and strange saussage loving government men. it had about 1000 posts

so, ill start us off.. (and NO SIGS PLEASE, it makes it easier to read through everything)

--
Once upon a time there were a field of cows...

 

[Ottar]

Then a bunch of cattlestealing celts came along and drove off the cows. Mids moved in, saw the beautiful green pasture and built a big smoking hammer factory right in the middle of it. A few days later, hibernian EPA agent came along..

 

[Arlone]

...and started singing about trees and bushes while a little lurikeen...

 

[Uncle Sick(tm)]

... just to stop abruptly as an arrow pierces his voicebox. Snickering a kobold hunter disappears in the shadows of the trees again...

 

[Anatole]

...but falls into a pit trap filled with marmite-coated spikes!! Meanwhile, in a leafy glade not to far away...

 

[old.Tohtori]

...the cows plotted their revenge. Now, armed with the latest of bovine armor, the best of the best swords and the deadliest of crossbows the cows, now known as the Deadly Bovine of Green Pastures, charged ..around the pit..and towards the hammer factory, until...

 

[old.Ayam Ganbatte]

...a healer ducking in the bushes mesmerised the whole lot of them with an elegant sweep of his hands. The healer stood proudly, hands on hips surveying the slack-jawed cows chewing their cud, until the thane beside him decided to hit all of the cows with an area-Mjollnir....

 

[listepik]

Which, regretably, did not seem to affect the Wicked cows.

With the trance broken, the cows..

 

[--Eraser--]

...made a major assault on the thane and slaughtered him without mercy. there was much blood and gore, and the healer decided to wait until the raging cow-mob adressed theirselfs to the hammer-factory again and picked up the "loot" from the thane.
what he didnt know was that there was a young unknown...

 

[old.Ziera]

...branch with his druid pet, who was interested in the loot. He charged the cleric with his mighty leafs well knowing that his pet would heal his injuries...

 

[Aeiedil]

.... but unfortunatly the pet turned out to be as dumb as a troll. And so after the branch bravely plunged head first into the .....

 

[Roo Stercogburn]

...cleavage of a tooth fairy who was on her way home from the pub. Now seriously annoyed, the tooth fairy took her bag of teeth and...

 

[old.Alliandre]

...proded the pet. The pet replied by...

 

[old.Tohtori]

..kicking the healer in the groin region who then..

 

[Fafnir]

Gandalf comes walkin out of the forest, seeing whats goin on, he says... Now, now children there no need for that, we can do better things than this.....

 

[Uncle Sick(tm)]

... a gigantic moth swoops down from the skies, grabs Gandalf by his beard, flies all the way to Mount Doom and drops him right into the volcano. The orks rejoice..

 

[--Eraser--]

..and invite the crazy mob of cows to a few beers. drunken like shit the cows try to find their way back to the hammer-factory but lose their way and finally find theirselfs....

 

[klavrynd]

...on the "dark cows" territory, which they saw on a huge sign pointing out...

 

[old.Cru]

side of Grizzly's house. They all decided to torch...

 

[skerit XP]

... everything down so no cow would ever see the face of these horrifying ...

 

[Aeiedil]

... mutated giant midget hamsters, who were after all quite nasty, with their big sharp fangs, and drippy teeth, and dandruff, and bad breath, and all that. Unfortunatly the hamsters seemed to quite like the fire in an eerie sense and....

 

[klavrynd]

... poked marshmallows on there blades , sat down and roasted ...

 

[SFXman]

...the balls of the next door cat and so they happily munched away till the cats posse came around and ate the hamsters. But since the hamsters were mutated the cat posse began to...

 

[Fafnir]

uke: some of the hamsters out, and thoose hamsters transformed into ugly firbolg's that started to run around like some insane....

 

[skerit XP]

... bunch of aged basilisks while they ate the cats, a young sorcerer came by who started to mezz them all, it didn't work... his name was ...

 

[Gimly]

Kemor the gimped Sorcerer... he then started to run off to escape but instead run into.....

 

[skerit XP]

... the tomb of mithra, wich was even way too hard for this fiesty little guy, he ran down, while he was being chased, straight into the ...

 

[Gimly]

Arms of a loving Zombie, who wondered if he could take the funny looking Sorcerer as a pet or should he just eat him...

 

[klavrynd]

He was taken into the zombies cave, from where you could hear screams. Were those screams of agony or pleasure ? Half an hour later the zombie stepped out wearing ...

 

[Gimly]

Kemor's little casters dress, which has a nasty little stain on the front of it which looked like.....