2002 Log of the Year Awards

W

Wilier

Guest
We have a double bonus at home.

If you do a really good shit, and want to see it agin after its been flushed, nip and look in the sceptic tank. :D
 
F

FunGas

Guest
come on you lot, surely you can be a bit more creative than that...

anyone remember needing to dump at the beach in Greece, to find a tin hut full of wasps and a hole in the floor surrounded by, well y'know (also about 40 degrees in there)
 
E

ECA

Guest
Originally posted by Wilier
We have a double bonus at home.

If you do a really good shit, and want to see it agin after its been flushed, nip and look in the sceptic tank. :D
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Is that where they keep the tory party too?

Nasty Nasty Sceptics

*G*
 
G

GDW

Guest
Heh ive just had remembered being at a party about fifteen years ago, where a mate took a full load on the stomach from some spaced out girl who was sat astride him so that her back was facing him.
:puke:
 
P

Pro]v[etheus

Guest
Originally posted by kryt
I use 3 to 4 sheets together. Still end up with nastily smelly hands :/
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Don't you just hate it when your fingers go through the paper ? :(
 
S

Scooba Da Bass

Guest
Originally posted by FunGas
come on you lot, surely you can be a bit more creative than that...

anyone remember needing to dump at the beach in Greece, to find a tin hut full of wasps and a hole in the floor surrounded by, well y'know (also about 40 degrees in there)
Click to expand...

No, I don't remember that, are you sure it happened to me?
 
P

prime1

Guest
The foot longs that require no wiping, especially the ones that you can sorta "feel" or "sense" drawing through your gut and on its way to the North Sea.

Got sum funny turd stories as well :

story 1: one of my m8s used to work as a caretaker at a sports center. Towards the end of an evening shift he had to clean the bogs (har har). He went in to the womens toilets to mop up etc, and there, in the middle of the floor, nowhere near the bogs, was a turd. Sitting there proud as can be. He was sure it winked at him. Course he went and got his manager to clean it up cause he refused. So the manager without hesitation walked in to the bog, slapped on a rubber glove picked up the gloating queef and dropped it down the crapper, without a word of complaint. My m8 quit that job soon after.

story 2: same m8, used to play in a band, and whilst on tour somewhere up north, stopped at a bar for a drink. Whilst he was there, there were 3 very attractive young ladies drinking at the bar. Near them was a small group of pissed up men. Towards the end of the evening one of the extremely pissed men, walked towards the ladies and decided to flash them, so he undid his belt and let his trousers and pants fall to the floor. He then proclaimed to politely ask the ladies if they "fancied some of this". At this point the exhertion clearly got the better of him and a medium sized log escaped his ring and fell into his pants on the floor. In full view of everyone in the pub. The laides ran, the man panicked and fell over, my m8 and his band nearly shat themselves laughing.

To be continued....
 
P

prime1

Guest
Story 3 :

A girl at anothers m8s school decided to moon the lads on their way to play football. So she bared her arse (this was still primary school mind) to them. Unfortunately for her she had a very large dingleberry, proudly on display. To this day people still call her "Nugget".

Story 4 :
Yet another m8, who is in the army, told me of a guy in his regiment who got "lucky" with a girl in Cyprus. A few of the lads had taken their lays for the night down to the beach for a bit of fun etc. This unfortunate chap suffered from an onset of the shits whilst he was performing on her, and covered his and her lower halfs with liquid shit. nasty.

Story 5 (last one) :

The aforementioned caretaker bloke, now works in an office in London (not caretaking). He enjoys a good fart, maybe a little too much, as i understand it though, most of his office colleagues also enjoy the glories of cheesebursting, so farting is rampant in their office :/ . Imagine his joy when he felt a large airbiscuit "locked and loaded" in his nether regions.

Imagine his horror as this air biscuit rapidly turned into a smallish, but significant enough, liquid shit. Sheer panic. So he had to go to the bog, take his trousers/pants off, clean himself up and then put his trousers on with no pants etc (although apprently sum shit had escaped down the trouser leg). He managed to get to his desk and hide the pants in a shoe box he happend to have cause he was going training that night. He made his excuses and left.

He had to endure the train home with a small amount of shit rubbing his leg. The most amusing and stupid side of this story is, that he was idiotic enough to tell his m8s! i got a message from him that day that simply said "im on the train home, i SHIT MY PANTS!!!".
 
P

projectarnold

Guest
lol, Story No 2 (how appropriate) is a bloody classic, pld :D
 
C

caLLous

Guest
Ahhhhh, I just had a nice satisfying shit. Y'know the type where it feels like you have a cork shoved up your arse and then (with a little bit of effort) it pops out and is followed by a torrent of shite. Now I feel ohsomuch better. :)
 
C

*charlton_thd*

Guest
I have "sliced bread shits" where the log will actually seperate as it leaves my ass, causing major splashage.
I also have "roadkill" shits which basically leave a massive stain in the toilet, most of which look like squashed hedgehogs.

However the worse are the "friendly fires" where the shit smashes out at such speed it actually bouces off the toilet and smacks me in the ass..... they hurt..
 
D

doh_boy

Guest
Originally posted by *charlton_thd*


However the worse are the "friendly fires" where the shit smashes out at such speed it actually bouces off the toilet and smacks me in the ass..... they hurt..
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:touch: what?



btw story 2, but they're all v funny :clap:
 
W

wolfeeh

Guest
cunts self laughing :p

omg. friendlyfire *chuclkles*

anyway... my sis? you all know and love her yeh? well there was this guy that cheated on her before....

she left him with a steaming turd on his chest when he woke up in the morning :>

hear of loadsa ppl who do that :/ hope it never happens to me :(
 
P

prime1

Guest
Im still curious as to how you managed to actualy get the turds to "bounce" back up and hit you in the ass :/

Are we talking water splash are actual turdage here? If its actual turdage then wtf is going on with your arse!?! Is it rifle barreled or do u just eat rubber?
 
X

xenon2000

Guest
omg

what the hell is up with all you guys today? :(
 
N

Nos-

Guest
Re: cunts self laughing :p

Originally posted by wolfeeh
omg. friendlyfire *chuclkles*

anyway... my sis? you all know and love her yeh? well there was this guy that cheated on her before....

she left him with a steaming turd on his chest when he woke up in the morning :>

hear of loadsa ppl who do that :/ hope it never happens to me :(
Click to expand...

Dude what the fuck is up with welsh people? Isn't raping sheep and talking with a gallon of phlegm to speak the welsh language enough to make your own lil culture? :/
 
C

.Cask

Guest
You too can repeat this log by ordering a large Tandori Hot from Dominoes along with some potato fritters with a chilli sauce dip.

The tandori hot is a pretty hot pizza, it has a ton of jalapeno peppers on which taste great, but they have a nasty side effect. After eating the whole large pizza and finishing the dips I went to bed and woke up pretty early with a bit of heartburn. Felt the call of nature so went to bathroom and sat down..

Wasn't so much the shit itself, but the body mustn't have much luck disgesting really spicy foods as it felt like I was shitting pure chilli sauce. I dunno if you've ever taken a piss after chopping up chilli's but this was way more painful, given that the anus is quite a sensitive area. Talk about ring sting, I couldn't sit down for the whole morning. Felt like a colony of killer ants were chomping their way through my back passage. Don't order that pizza very often anymore.
 
S

Summo

Guest
There should be a link to this thread on the GAME webby.
 
T

Tom

Guest
A friend of mine was in the army, and he told me that while on exercises in Germany, a new recruit wanted to go to the loo. His seargant told him to go into the woods, take a spade with him, and do the business. "Be careful though, there are wild Boar in the woods, and they don't take kindly to being disturbed". Off this guy went, found his spot, and crouched down to do the business. Unbeknown to him, his seargant and a bunch of other squaddies had crept around behind him, and were watching all this from the trees. His seargant pulled half a potato from his pocket, stuck it on the end of the fork, so that the sliced end was exposed, and crept up silently behind the new recruit.

He got right up behind him, touched the guys arse with the potato, and made some loud 'sniffling' noises. The new recruit didn't stop to pull his pants up, or to crimp it off, he just jumped up and legged it. You can imagine it.

Apparantly it took the entire squad about 20 minutes to stop laughing. :D
 
K

kameleon

Guest
What is this? National revive old threads day?
 
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