2002 Log of the Year Awards

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bodhi

Guest
As I am about to bugger off to uni for the year, and am still not sure when I can be arsed to take my computer up, I thought I'd leave you all with something to remember me by.

In this thread I would like you to describe the best shit you have ever had. Feel free to include as much or as little detail as you would like (IMPORTANT: No Pictures Please) . Also feel free to describe any new techniques you have discovered in your time spent on the can (new wiping methods, new ways of getting the Mr Whippy effect without rotating around the can, the Powershit (TM), etc).
 
W

Wilier

Guest
:)

Mine tend to be sit, shit, wipe and run. Im not into this reading whilst pooh'ing thing.

I do get annoyed with the old "brown crayon up the arse" wipe, where no matter how many times you wipe, you always get a thin line on the paper. :rolleyes:


Take the PC Bods, we cant afford to lose another reg. :(
 
B

bodhi

Guest
I'll be back by November, just cant fit PC in car with all the other shit and IKEA furniture I'm taking up. I'd taher have my Taggen uplighter and Justis Speaker stands than my PC tbh :/
 
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Wilier

Guest
Originally posted by bodhi
I'll be back by November, just cant fit PC in car with all the other shit and IKEA furniture I'm taking up. I'd taher have my Taggen uplighter and Justis Speaker stands than my PC tbh :/
Click to expand...

I cant remember what it was, but we bought an Ikea thing (from Leeds) and it was a SPUNKER. :D

Stoopid swedish names.
 
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Trem

Guest
Dunno about best shit, I don't suppose you remember those ones.

My worst shit was when I burst a pile that was up there which I didn't know about, a kind of secret pile if you will, anyway I just can't describe the pain, and the itching is terrible, try walking the dogs with people walking behind you and you have an itchy pile, absolute nightmare:(
 
B

bodhi

Guest
Last time I had ring itch I was in Canary Wharf at 5pm on a Thursday when all the stockbrokers etc were leaving work. Try finding a moment to have a good long scratch in that situation :/
 
L

lovedaddy

Guest
the ones i enjoy are the 2 quid dumps at work, sitting there with the timer on the go, wasting company money, quality
 
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Trem

Guest
I fucking dream of bog roll when it starts, its like if there was a million quid lying on the ground I would use it to wipe my arse and be happier about that than the million quid, I try to clench and walk as fast as possible, sometimes the friction helps:(
 
C

.Cask

Guest
My most memorable shit was back in high school, during a school trip to a youth hostel in Wales.

I was sitting in the bus absolutely bursting all the way there. Then when we finally got there I ran out and straight to the toilets, into a cubicle and it dropped like a rock. Almost required no wipeage but the splash was a bit annoying. Stood up feeling a few pounds lighter and walked out.

Then about 10 minutes later someone came into the dorm saying the toilet was blocked. Had to fetch the teacher who spent the rest of the evening unblocking it :)

Double winner.
 
S

Shocko

Guest
Originally posted by Wilier
I do get annoyed with the old "brown crayon up the arse" wipe, where no matter how many times you wipe, you always get a thin line on the paper. :rolleyes:
Click to expand...
Aye, that's a right bugger, that one :(


I certainly enjoy the big ones myself, where there's only one big log, and you barely have to wipe, however i don't get too many :(
 
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Trem

Guest
Do men enjoy the big, firm ones because it hits the G-spot or summat? I hope to god it isn't some repressed homosexual thing because if I cant enjoy my turds without feeling manly what the fuck can I enjoy?
 
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GDW

Guest
HMM looks like an interesting thread even if I CANT READ THE ORIGINAL STARTER POST BECAUSE THE GOOD LAD IS ON IGNORE......but I actually like the watery ones, you know the ones that just dribble out followed by the odd explosion:)

edit://

....oh and I really hate the ones after eating a shit load of chillis, you know, the ones that set the ring on fire!!
 
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tris-

Guest
Originally posted by Grandadwrinkle
HMM looks like an interesting thread even if I CANT READ THE ORIGINAL STARTER POST BECAUSE THE GOOD LAD IS ON IGNORE......but I actually like the watery ones, you know the ones that just dribble out followed by the odd explosion:)
Click to expand...

I find them ones oddley embarasing :(, but enjoyable none the less, feels much better when you get one of those fuckers finished.
 
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tris-

Guest
i use to know a web site that had hundreds of types of shit, the name of them and description, but now i dont :(
 
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PR.

Guest
Search the forum they have been posted before ;)

I spose my most 'memorable' was a a Tescos store. We were on holiday in a stupid old Fixed caravan that didn't have a proper loo, and I couldn't go for a no. 2 there. I couldn't go to the toilet block as it wasn't clean enough (that dates back to the days when I used to swim at the local pool got out to go to the loo walk in there bare feet and presented with some awful sight that has put me off public conveniences) aaaanyway so we spent an hour going to the local Tesco's only to find the loo was currently being cleaned :(

Needless to say the loo was nice and clean and it was most[\I] relieving
 
N

Nos-

Guest
When I read the topic I thought he would have meant irc logs ¦-(
 
M

Mellow-

Guest
I did such a huge log round my old mates* house, it was like a fucking iceburg it was still popping out of the water :D

Never went to that mates house again though, I think he had to have his whole drainage system redone *chuckle*

Still, better his house, than mine.

Think it was some dodgy foreign food that did it tbh :eek:












* I say old mate, because he hasn't spoken to me since
 
K

kryt

Guest
My favourite is without doubt the clean shit, no wipage required.

Wipeage is my main problem. No matter what grade of bog roll is used, be it Tesco No Frill's Tracing Paper, or Kleenex Triple Velvet Double Soft Uber Large Frilly Stuff (tm) - it always rips in the most inconvenient place possible, leaving brown figures and frayed tempers. Especially after having been for one shit, going for another later in the day to find half a rainforest worth of bog roll still resident in your crack.
Maximus annoyus.
 
E

ECA

Guest
Originally posted by kryt
My favourite is without doubt the clean shit, no wipage required.

Wipeage is my main problem. No matter what grade of bog roll is used, be it Tesco No Frill's Tracing Paper, or Kleenex Triple Velvet Double Soft Uber Large Frilly Stuff (tm) - it always rips in the most inconvenient place possible, leaving brown figures and frayed tempers. Especially after having been for one shit, going for another later in the day to find half a rainforest worth of bog roll still resident in your crack.
Maximus annoyus.
Click to expand...


Use two pieces of paper together so its doubled up :/
 
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pcg79

Guest
Originally posted by kryt
Especially after having been for one shit, going for another later in the day to find half a rainforest worth of bog roll still resident in your crack.
Maximus annoyus.
Click to expand...

ROFL :D
 
K

kryt

Guest
I use 3 to 4 sheets together. Still end up with nastily smelly hands :/
 
B

bodhi

Guest
I normally use about 15 sheets so its more of a bog roll sponge. Avoids poofinger and it rocks when you dont pay for bog roll :)
 
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