dont know if any1 saw that prog on tv last night but ow man what a cracker,
firstly i wondered who the hell thinks of these things example:
scotish bloke decided to get a lil comfort food so he cuts a hole in a melon, microwaves it and puts on some oven gloves whilst removing the fruit from the microwave as he didnt want to burn his fingers he then slides his love worm on in the melon and drops the thing after sustaining high degree burns to his todger, um......if ya need gloves to pick it up...
gay couple decided to have a bit of fun by one of them laying on back with legs up and the other one pours concrete in to his exposed arse, they didnt realise that the human body is an ideal environment to set concrete in and also didnt realise that concrete is highly caustic (well durr!) after a visit to hospital and severe pain they were then left with a lump of concrete the exact mould of the lower bowel, why would anyone do this how can having concrete poured in to your bum be fun???
few others that made me chuckle:
one lonely guy decided to get a free suck job off his vaccuume cleaner, didnt realise the fan inside was metal and severed half his nob, he tried to tell the attending emergancy crew that he'd picked up a demented hooker but was rumbled when someone saw blood oozing out of the domestic appliance.
fella at home alone, his wife returns to find him on sofa nekked except for fishnets and high heels busy getting jiggy with the oven ready chicken that was for sunday lunch (made me wonder if he'd done it before and if he hadnt got caught would he have just put the dinner chicken back in the fridge?) so there we have it necrophilia and bestiality, talk about killing one bird with 2 stones Oo.
fella decided to get hot and horney with a donkey, the donkey had other ideas and bit his willy off (woohoo go eyore!!!)
one about a chap who wanted to prolong sex so injected cocaine in to his nob, he later had to have both legs and 9 fingers amputated due to gangrene (his willy fell off of its own accord)
on taking a midnight dip in the hotel swimming pool one fella had the bright idea to try and boff the pool pump (he felt the suction and thought it would be a good idea) however the suction was stronger than he knew after several hours the rescue team finally managed to get his blackened and severely brused wotsit outta the pump hole, the fella then contemplated sueing the hotel ROFL as you might have guessed he was american.
the show then went on to list stuff that blokes had shoved up their eurithra (sp?) these included:
a disposable razor, a gerranium (flower) the fella didnt realise there are small barb like hairs on the stem of the flower and shredded his japs eye, the heel of a stiletto shoe and some spaghetti.
this was quite disturbing in the uk a bloke was spotted shagging a goat by rail passengers he was arrested and served 6 months, in america a bloke was caught boffing a horse and got 9 years (the americans have got it right on thsi score)
and the funniest one was a fella at a wedding went to play a tape for the assembled wedding party, he realised a tad too late that he'd put the wrong tape in and was showing all his friends and family a tape of him molesting his pit bull terrior, one can only imagine the shame and humiliation this poor dog felt on having folks see who'd been shagging it.
and after all these horror stories i bet as soon as this program finished some daft git went and tried to get a blow job of the hoover with a daffodil stuck up his arse, what is it binky says "Humans are stupid"? binks my man i have to agree totally!
firstly i wondered who the hell thinks of these things example:
scotish bloke decided to get a lil comfort food so he cuts a hole in a melon, microwaves it and puts on some oven gloves whilst removing the fruit from the microwave as he didnt want to burn his fingers he then slides his love worm on in the melon and drops the thing after sustaining high degree burns to his todger, um......if ya need gloves to pick it up...
gay couple decided to have a bit of fun by one of them laying on back with legs up and the other one pours concrete in to his exposed arse, they didnt realise that the human body is an ideal environment to set concrete in and also didnt realise that concrete is highly caustic (well durr!) after a visit to hospital and severe pain they were then left with a lump of concrete the exact mould of the lower bowel, why would anyone do this how can having concrete poured in to your bum be fun???
few others that made me chuckle:
one lonely guy decided to get a free suck job off his vaccuume cleaner, didnt realise the fan inside was metal and severed half his nob, he tried to tell the attending emergancy crew that he'd picked up a demented hooker but was rumbled when someone saw blood oozing out of the domestic appliance.
fella at home alone, his wife returns to find him on sofa nekked except for fishnets and high heels busy getting jiggy with the oven ready chicken that was for sunday lunch (made me wonder if he'd done it before and if he hadnt got caught would he have just put the dinner chicken back in the fridge?) so there we have it necrophilia and bestiality, talk about killing one bird with 2 stones Oo.
fella decided to get hot and horney with a donkey, the donkey had other ideas and bit his willy off (woohoo go eyore!!!)
one about a chap who wanted to prolong sex so injected cocaine in to his nob, he later had to have both legs and 9 fingers amputated due to gangrene (his willy fell off of its own accord)
on taking a midnight dip in the hotel swimming pool one fella had the bright idea to try and boff the pool pump (he felt the suction and thought it would be a good idea) however the suction was stronger than he knew after several hours the rescue team finally managed to get his blackened and severely brused wotsit outta the pump hole, the fella then contemplated sueing the hotel ROFL as you might have guessed he was american.
the show then went on to list stuff that blokes had shoved up their eurithra (sp?) these included:
a disposable razor, a gerranium (flower) the fella didnt realise there are small barb like hairs on the stem of the flower and shredded his japs eye, the heel of a stiletto shoe and some spaghetti.
this was quite disturbing in the uk a bloke was spotted shagging a goat by rail passengers he was arrested and served 6 months, in america a bloke was caught boffing a horse and got 9 years (the americans have got it right on thsi score)
and the funniest one was a fella at a wedding went to play a tape for the assembled wedding party, he realised a tad too late that he'd put the wrong tape in and was showing all his friends and family a tape of him molesting his pit bull terrior, one can only imagine the shame and humiliation this poor dog felt on having folks see who'd been shagging it.
and after all these horror stories i bet as soon as this program finished some daft git went and tried to get a blow job of the hoover with a daffodil stuck up his arse, what is it binky says "Humans are stupid"? binks my man i have to agree totally!
