The Bored and The Board

Lakashnik · #1 (**permalink**) 20th April 2005, 04:38 PM

Mmmmmm tangfastics.

As light poured through the skylights into the small warehouse all he could but do was wish he was somewhere else. preferably with his bed his pc and a good supply of coke and bbq flavour pringles. mainly his bedroom at home.
The mostly average music from radio1 poured out of the old stereo sat on the desk, he gazed in the direction of the dreaded "In" tray. there were orders, not many, but still orders. That would mean work.
he decided to put it off for abit longer. he had 45minutes untill THE courier would arrive, he rememberd him from the day before. THE courier would pull up in his white van, jump out of the cab and walk through reception into the warehouse, bringing with him the stench of booze, or maybe it was jsut really cheap cologne. He did not know but it still stunk. then He would have to move. use effort to open the large door. It maybe automatic and the meer push of a button would open it but it was still to much effort, the button had to go soooo far in. 1 day He would invent 1 which didnt even need pushing, some kind of super button, controlled only by Him, He could be the king of buttons! As this thought passed He had forgotten his train of thinking and decided it would be best to start some work. He got up from the hard spinny chair he had spent many hours wasting zooming up an down the rows of boxes upon.
He lifted a Order... it was for THAT item. THAT 1 dreaded item which meant he had to open a box take out half of the items and put them into a new box, and then send it out using Special Delivery, that meant writing in the book, stickers, so much. He put the order down and decided to leave it. He wasnt in tommorow. Let Her deal with it. He sat back down on his chair and rolled over to the Old Pentium 2 PC, With 64mb of Ram it was easily the most wonderous PC he had ever seen managing to run anything at all.
Just browsing the I-net He found it would be sluggish and take alot of time to load even blank white pages. He typed in the simple words to the address bar forums.freddyshouse.com he had trolled these forums for many months. finding new and frightening people who he could do nothing but laugh at from fear. Especially 1 who was known to all as a small furry white sea animal. He laughed at him the most.
As the page slowly loaded up he heard THE sound. had quickly alt-tabbed out back to the shipments program and slid the chair to the desk and started picking through some paperwork as the company manager walked into the warehouse and past him to the back so he could smoke out back.
At this point he decided to go spend the 5minutes the cigarette would take in the reception/office getting a drink and listening to the foolish women talk about some inane trivial thing that would amuse him and make him laugh in pity at how much he loathed himself and wanted to die.
He entered the Office and the warmth hit him like a blast of heat, for that is what it was afterall, it was heat. He heard snippets of 2 of the women discussing a order as he got out a glass and filled it with water.
Then he turned and SHE was looking at him. SHE being the dreaded. His 1 and only mother.
He Sometimes wished he had more than 1 as it would be a novel experience then decided against it, for 1 being bad enough.
As SHE turned back to her work He spoke 3 words that he had said many times before "Mum. I'm Hungry"
SHE easily dismissed him with promises of doughnuts at lunch so He made his way back to the warehouse going in with a stomach rumbling and nothing but a single trebor extra strong mint in his pocket. He heard the sound of the other door closing as the manager went back upstairs he could relax again.
He went back to the PC and started reading the forums. the usual crap here there and everywer. This occupied him for but 10minutes if He was lucky.
The small white furry 1 had made some comments as per usual he chuckled to himself and made some of his own, much less laughable posts, with the odd exception of him using his own stupidity in a way as to make the printer next to him bark. He was indeed insane.
30minutes to collection and still he had done but 3orders. Now with nothing to do, all posts read, he decided to play hide and seek with the juggling ball sat on the desk. He would ofc hide 1st, as always.
He ran off to the back of the warehouse where he jumped onto a pallet of boxes. maneuvering his way into the little hole where he hid everytime, the ball sucked at this game he never found him. Being it had no eyes and could not move of its own free will this was no surprise, but a win is still a win.
As He laid there he began to drift off to sleep again. nothing but the sounds of the radio in the distance.
Later he awoke. He did not know how much later as he wore no watch. but he assumed near lunchtime because he was hungry, He could never stop the hunger. He jumped down and walked back to his desk where He proceeded to laugh at the Idiot juggling ball, then continued into the office to make some lunch.

Mmmmm Doughnuts he thought as he imagined eating 1 after being fooled by that vile SHE. there had been no doughnuts, just cheese scones, a second rate symphony at best.
He began to spin. spin and spin and spin. What a waste of 5minutes it was. a glorius waste of time betterd only by trying to hide behind a dustpan brush.
He rolled to the PC and clicked the creative section tab of a certain forums.
HE had a fantastic idea. He would bore the others who trolled these boards.
He would share his pain. he let out a deep mwah ha ha ha sounding laugh as he felt like it, then stopped because he did not want to do it anymore.

New thread. the words echoed through his mind. how to start how to start. He would want to write a serious story but it was beyong him. so he started it with the sentance. Mmmm tangfastics. it would have to do. he did not have much time.
He began scrabbling on the keyboard and letters would pop on the screen and become words which became sentance which became paragraphs... even if he sucked at english he could still write badly.

He recalled the days events and they spewed out onto the green and white screen. As the hour drew later and later there was less and less to say.
so He gave up and decided to go eat polystyrene packaging then run around screaming about the printer trying to kill him. that was always run.
he would end with a legendary quote of 1 of his favourite authors.
"Because carrots are orange and its a wonderful thing"
he hit the submit new thread button and was done with it, the Board could take his thread and the people could read and be bored. hurrah.

This is a tribute (if rather poorly worded and written and not to interesting) to Teh Seel, and a few others. You keep me occupied when i have nothing to do at work. but with the lack of any of ur posts lately i have been bored enough to type all this.
This was a warning. If i get bored again i may write another terrible story, i dont think either of us want this.
so god damn it seel get thinking u squishy lil thing!

"Because carrots are orange and its a wonderful thing"