F1 Today.
Posted 11th October 2008 at 11:37 PM by Kryten
Not today's race, as it where, but I thought I'd let off some steam about the state of F1. 
The politics is one thing, the red tape and moronicness of the rules, regulations, supposed cheating and spying, decisions made whether right or wrong - but that's a small part of the problem.
The drivers. What a bunch of fucking pansies. I might be a Hamilton fan through and through, but something in today's paper made my blood boil. Apparently, half of the drivers on the grid including Lewis' close friend Robert Kubica think that Hamilton is a danger due to the aggressive way he drives. Excuse me? Get your coat, you're fired, you're no longer capable of racing. Find a go-kart if you must and don't venture out of the local track at your home town. Never have I heard so much claptrap, in a time where F1 is practically safer than chess, you can prang your car at 200mph and walk out of it un-damaged yourself. Where the most damage likely to come to you is a mauling in a press conference or being involved with some leather uniform clad whipping girls.
The last time these sort of claims were being made was in the late 80's. Against Senna and Mansell, normally by the likes of Alain Prost. Those were men - they got in their cars, barely protected, vehicles that were more powerful and less restricted than today's efforts, with just a crash hat to stop, if it did stop, fatality - and they zoomed round tracks at speeds up to 200mph without being phased about little knocks on tracks, little excursions up and off the kerbs, and occasionally even getting out of their stricken motor to punch someone's lights out.
Those men would do whatever was necessary to pass the guy in front and lap up those important championship points - and that even included something as dangerous as overtaking on track! Nudges were commonplace, the sport was a spectacle to watch and the drivers had large brass balls and the charisma to match. Some were outright twats, ala Senna, some never quite made it big but made up for it with humour like Berger, and some were just Nigel Mansell. But on track it was entertainment. There was even some sportsmanship - remember Mansell giving the sticken Ayrton Senna a lift on the side of his car? Do that these days and you'll get dropped 10 places on the grid for endangering a certain type of moth.
So what have we got these days?
1. Cheaters. The Michael Schumachers that just went out to win at all costs. Several dodgy manouvres including a punt on Damon Hill in 1994 ending Hill's championship and crowning himself.
2. The sit and waiters like Raikkonen. Not a spectacular driver, but is one of the smoothest drivers in the sport. A fast car getting the results more than anything else, there's no need for overtaking here. Win the race in the pitstop if possible.
3. The qualifying crews. People who'd plonk the car on pole and hope they don't get overtaken in the race - Alonso, Massa. Not many people behind them dare try anything like overtake so they're quite safe.
Until the start of last year. A rookie comes along and stirs up the field with a level of competitiveness, aggressiveness and confidence that shakes the field up visibly. Unpredictable, and so very human - mistakes have been made, learned from, and he's growing better by the race. And now people are saying he's dangerous.
Get 22 Lewis Hamilton's on the grid and lets have a ruddy good race on our hands. Crashes, cock-ups, mistakes, godlike supremacy, the works.
Get 22 Felipe Massa's on the grid and you might as well get out your single tracked Scalextric out the cupboard - first person to plonk his car on the front wins!
22 Alonso's on the grid - you'll have a car and a team that improves exponentially as a result but nothing exciting will happen unless you're a pre-pubescant female wanting some of that Spanish goodness.
22 Raikkonens on the grid - fuck me sideways, the race might be dull, it might be interesting just make sure you emigrate to a country with no electricity before the press interviews start!
To summarise, F1 drivers need to grow some balls. Fast. None of them are talentless by any means, but that large wage packet is indicative of the danger you SHOULD be putting yourself and the others around you in.
I could bash on for ages about the politics, the money involved in development etc, but that's echo'd across every F1 forum on the planet and most news sites and papers. We need new drivers.
The politics is one thing, the red tape and moronicness of the rules, regulations, supposed cheating and spying, decisions made whether right or wrong - but that's a small part of the problem.
The drivers. What a bunch of fucking pansies. I might be a Hamilton fan through and through, but something in today's paper made my blood boil. Apparently, half of the drivers on the grid including Lewis' close friend Robert Kubica think that Hamilton is a danger due to the aggressive way he drives. Excuse me? Get your coat, you're fired, you're no longer capable of racing. Find a go-kart if you must and don't venture out of the local track at your home town. Never have I heard so much claptrap, in a time where F1 is practically safer than chess, you can prang your car at 200mph and walk out of it un-damaged yourself. Where the most damage likely to come to you is a mauling in a press conference or being involved with some leather uniform clad whipping girls.
The last time these sort of claims were being made was in the late 80's. Against Senna and Mansell, normally by the likes of Alain Prost. Those were men - they got in their cars, barely protected, vehicles that were more powerful and less restricted than today's efforts, with just a crash hat to stop, if it did stop, fatality - and they zoomed round tracks at speeds up to 200mph without being phased about little knocks on tracks, little excursions up and off the kerbs, and occasionally even getting out of their stricken motor to punch someone's lights out.
Those men would do whatever was necessary to pass the guy in front and lap up those important championship points - and that even included something as dangerous as overtaking on track! Nudges were commonplace, the sport was a spectacle to watch and the drivers had large brass balls and the charisma to match. Some were outright twats, ala Senna, some never quite made it big but made up for it with humour like Berger, and some were just Nigel Mansell. But on track it was entertainment. There was even some sportsmanship - remember Mansell giving the sticken Ayrton Senna a lift on the side of his car? Do that these days and you'll get dropped 10 places on the grid for endangering a certain type of moth.
So what have we got these days?
1. Cheaters. The Michael Schumachers that just went out to win at all costs. Several dodgy manouvres including a punt on Damon Hill in 1994 ending Hill's championship and crowning himself.
2. The sit and waiters like Raikkonen. Not a spectacular driver, but is one of the smoothest drivers in the sport. A fast car getting the results more than anything else, there's no need for overtaking here. Win the race in the pitstop if possible.
3. The qualifying crews. People who'd plonk the car on pole and hope they don't get overtaken in the race - Alonso, Massa. Not many people behind them dare try anything like overtake so they're quite safe.
Until the start of last year. A rookie comes along and stirs up the field with a level of competitiveness, aggressiveness and confidence that shakes the field up visibly. Unpredictable, and so very human - mistakes have been made, learned from, and he's growing better by the race. And now people are saying he's dangerous.
Get 22 Lewis Hamilton's on the grid and lets have a ruddy good race on our hands. Crashes, cock-ups, mistakes, godlike supremacy, the works.
Get 22 Felipe Massa's on the grid and you might as well get out your single tracked Scalextric out the cupboard - first person to plonk his car on the front wins!
22 Alonso's on the grid - you'll have a car and a team that improves exponentially as a result but nothing exciting will happen unless you're a pre-pubescant female wanting some of that Spanish goodness.
22 Raikkonens on the grid - fuck me sideways, the race might be dull, it might be interesting just make sure you emigrate to a country with no electricity before the press interviews start!
To summarise, F1 drivers need to grow some balls. Fast. None of them are talentless by any means, but that large wage packet is indicative of the danger you SHOULD be putting yourself and the others around you in.
I could bash on for ages about the politics, the money involved in development etc, but that's echo'd across every F1 forum on the planet and most news sites and papers. We need new drivers.
Total Comments 2
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Massa is top of my hate list in F1, never have a seen such a boring uninspiring driver. He never risks any over taking and the only way he wins races is if something happens to the guys in front or he qualifies first.
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Thats exactly the problem.
The boredom is setting in for me whilst im at home ill, so have set up a facebook group for fans of F1 how it used to be/should be  Log in | Facebook |
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Recent Blog Entries by Kryten
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