Since my dearest Mumma Gucci passed away in August 2007 I have tried to be a lot stronger emotionally. To be honest I have failed on so many occassions and tonight was one of those nights.

As many of you will know from my previous blogs and forum posts my Mum was more than just a Mum. Three or so months after she passed away her Mother joined her, wherever it maybe. Today I picked up my brother, Dad, his sister and husband and went to St Peter's in Chertsey to visit my ailing Grandmother...

So last week I decided to go visit my sister in sunny Market Harborough after two years since my last visit. At the same time my son, Francesco, wanted to go and spend the week with his Aunty and Uncle and two cousins, Thomas and Sophie.

We head off about 6.45pm and arrive around 9.00pm, funnily enough my sister calls me as we get to her estate and I decide to wind her up with the opening words "Hello Allison, I am never fucking driving up here again as it is a shit fucking journey...

Wow, it is finally sinking in slowly. My son is about to hit 18 and I am still only going to be 40. Yes, I am a really young dad.

It reminds me of my Mum, there was only 18 years between her age and mine. I was the honeymoon baby or so they say but it was bloody close. They got married in March and I appeared in December.

Anyway, I have never been one for big celebrations of birthdays, my first was my 40th so I am at a loss as to what to do for my boy. What did you all...

Where have I been I hear you ask? Well maybe the one person that will read this

I know it has been a while since I have posted to my blog but rest assured I do read the forums, just not always reply to the posts that you make.

A new year, new challenges for most if not all of us due to the economic climate. Before it all goes Pete Tong I would just like to mention a few of highlights from 2008 which are in my mind:

Firstly, back cast your time back to May....

Operations. Always have scared the life out of me and this weekend I was privileged enough to have my first one at the age of 39.

All through my childhood and growing up years my Mum was the one that went through the trauma of having operations. Until she died last year not me nor my immediate family have had an operation in a hospital and now I've just had one and my brother is waiting for one. Weird or what??!

So, I have an operation on my knee. Keyhole surgery but I...